What is Bullying

More than a Mere Annoyance: Bullies Push Young Victims Beyond the Breaking Point

In a document entitled “Bullying is Not a Fact of Life,” the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) describes bullying as “when one or more persons repeatedly say or do hurtful things to another person who has problems defending himself or herself.”

Brenda High, whose 13-year-old son, Jared, committed suicide after being bullied and assaulted at school, is more direct in her description of the behavior. On the anti-bullying website that she has dedicated to her late son, Mrs. High describes bullying in terms that will surely resonate in post 9/11 America:

The only differences between a terrorist and a bully, is in the organized planning or cause of the activity, and the scale of terror. A bullied child will believe that there is no difference between a terrorist and a bully.

Bullying can take place directly (through hitting, shoving, and verbal abuse) or indirectly (through shunning, spreading rumors, or online attacks known as “cyberbullying”). The following three conditions are present most incidences of bullying, SAMHSA reports:

• A power imbalance exists between the bully and the victim.
• The bully’s power is derived from physical size, strength, verbal skill, popularity, or gender.
• The bully’s target feels tormented, helpless, and defenseless.

“Bullying is a form of abuse, harassment, and violence,” the SAMHSA report states. “Parents and school personnel should no longer consider bullying ‘just a part of growing up.’ It is harmful to both the perpetrators and the victims and is responsible for behavioral and emotional difficulties, long-term negative outcomes, and violence.”

The Severity of the Problem

When it comes to the prevalence bullying in America today, exact numbers are hard to come by – but virtually every organization that has investigated the issue notes that the problem is pervasive.

The National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center (NYVPRC) estimates that about one-third of all U.S. youth are involved in bullying – either as a victim, a perpetrator, or both. A “Facts for Families” document by the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry reports that as many as half of all children and adolescents are bullied at least once during their school years, with about one in 10 suffering from ongoing harassment.

According to the NYVPRC website, a national survey of students in grades six through 10 revealed the following statistical snapshot:

• Thirteen percent of students who were surveyed reported having bullied another student.
• Eleven percent of the students said they had been bullied.
• Six percent told researchers that they had both bullied others and been bullied themselves.
• Bullying and Suicide

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for U.S. youth between the ages of 10 and 14, and the third leading cause of death among members of the 15-24 age group.

Bullying is not to blame for every case of adolescent suicide, but both anecdotal reports and scientific studies indicate that the intense emotional strain that is experienced by bullying victims can lead to devastating consequences.

The Nemours Center for Children’s Health Media reports that most teens who were questioned after having attempted suicide said that they did what they did in an attempt “to escape from a situation that seemed impossible to deal with or to get relief from really bad thoughts or feelings.”

Considering that the NYVPRC estimates that as many as 160,000 children stay home from school every day because they fear being bullied, it doesn’t take much of a logical leap to make the connection between the terror of being bullied and the development of a life-threatening depression.

How to Help

Obviously, bullying is far worse than a mere childhood annoyance or “rite of passage.” Bullying is an insidious activity that has the potential to permanently alter or even end young lives. Bullying affects both perpetrators and victims, and demands a quick and effective response from parents, school personnel, and other caregivers.

Bullies and their victims are likely to suffer from a wide range of mental health and behavioral conditions, including depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, PTSD, low self esteem, and oppositional defiant disorder.

Obviously, the primary course of action when dealing with a bullying situation is to stop the violence and threats. Once this has been accomplished, it is imperative that both the bully and the victim are provided with appropriate treatment that will allow them to conquer their inner demons, overcome past traumas, and (in the cases of the perpetrators) learn to control their unacceptable behaviors.

For far too many victims of bullying, the damage that they have endured cannot be undone. For those who are currently experiencing the physical pain and emotional terror of bullying, help is available, and a brighter future is possible – but only if those who are in a position of responsibility take the swift and appropriate action that this crisis demands.